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GUEST BLOGGER ::: The New Gentleman Codes - 5 Steps to Becoming that Perfect Gentleman

 Indeed, pundits will agree that there is Perfection in every imperfection. Well, here, we are looking straight at being the perfect gentleman you should be.

Ots about time you do away with some clumsiness and drop those clues that haven't really been working and pick up these five new and relevant tips that will get you that "Oh-His-Momma-raised-him-well" remark while giving off the independent strength of a well adjusted gentleman.

Here, our guest blogger gets down to the business and gives you the tips like you should have it.....enjoy!

5 Steps Toward Becoming a Christian Gentleman 

By David Quinn 


One of my favorite sites to get great advice about chivalry and gentlemanly skills is The Art of Manliness. If you're a young man who is saddened, depressed or otherwise confused about how to be a man in our culture, it's a site you should check out regularly. Read the About page if you want to know what motivated it's founder. He and his wife give a lot of great resources and advice to help you "man up" and learn valuable things we are not taught much anymore.

 A few months ago he wrote a great series on The History of the Bachelor that ended with some very insightful analysis of how today's bachelors are different than those of previous generations. A few days ago I was reading some other post and a thought hit me; what makes The Art of Manliness so great is that it's information that helps you actually do something. It provides a lot of great things to think about, but more than anything it gives you skills for living. There is a lot of great practical advice.

I got to thinking that something similar, with an emphasis on spiritual matters, would also be great for young Christian guys. Where are they supposed to look to learn how to be a man? The obvious first choice for a young man to look is to his father. But what if his father is not around? What if his father is not a Christian? He can still learn some great skills, but not how to be a Christian man. Previous generations of men is another great place to look.

 Grandfathers and men of that generation are passing away. Soon we will only be able to read about them. We need to take the opportunity while we can to learn from previous generations of men who are still living.

I'm going to give you a list of five important things I've learned through the years about how to grow into being a Christian man. I've learned these through a combination of reading Scripture, being taught by older Christian men and through practicing and failing often. 

If you begin and continue with a focus on these things you will be off to a great start and you will continue to grow in wisdom. You'll also be well on your way to gaining what will be necessary to pass on to the generation after you.

1. Study and Imitate the Life of Jesus

This may sound elementary, but you really need to continually be reminded of what a man should be by the example of the one perfect man. I believe that a lot of Christians emphasize the divinity of Jesus and forget that he was a man who grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with both God and other men (Luke 2:52). He was a man's man. He expected great things of the men around him and he honored women. He was also God's man. He always followed the intent of God's law and had a continuous prayer life. He was the man of all men, and the representative man for all of humanity.

 If you want to know what a man was always intended to be, you need to look long and hard at the life of Jesus of Nazareth. Start by reading the The Gospels and then read other books about Jesus, such as, Jesus and the Victory of God (Christian Origins and the Question of God, Volume 2), The Jesus I Never Knew, The Words and Works of Jesus Christ: A Study of the Life of Christ, and The Christology of Jesus.

2. Become Friends with Older Men You Admire, and Learn from Them

There are men who have walked the road before you. There may be men who built the road you're walking. It is arrogant and foolish for you to think you don't need to learn from older men. Find them and ask for their help. 

You need to find these men in your community, your family, your church, and your workplace. Sometimes they will be looking for younger men to teach, but often these type of men will be very busy and have a lot of good commitments already. They may be honored and very willing to help if you ask, and sacrifice some of their time to help you on your way.

3. Treat All Younger Women like Sisters, Treat All Older Women like Your Mom

A lot of young Christian guys get in the mindset that they need to get married quickly. This will lead some guys to vigorously pursue the girl(s) they are most attracted to and treat all the rest like second class citizens or children. Once one prospect is discarded she is then thrown into the second category as quickly as the ones who were first filtered into that category.

 If you treat young women like this you are not a man and you are not on your way to being a man. You will also get a bad reputation among women. Treat them all with honor and find things to complement them on. Also, if you don't love your own mother, you certainly will not be able to love a wife.

4. Take on Responsibilities and Stay Committed

You need to get a job and you need to pay for things for yourself and other people. Don't expect everyone else to help you or do things for you. Don't walk around and act like a victim all the time. 

You need to work hard and often to learn what you're gifted in and to gain skills that may be used in other areas. You need to take the fruit of your labors (wages, skills, relationships) and use them to benefit others. This is an opportunity to cultivate generosity and demonstrate faithfulness.

5. Examine Yourself Constantly and Make Changes according to God's Word

This is probably the hardest. It will be an easy temptation to examine everyone else and then compare yourself with them as the measure for your own holiness, righteousness, or whatever. Examine yourself in light of God's expectations for you and not the expectations people have of you. 

Be willing to listen to the perspective of your close friends and ask them how they see you living out your faith. Be humble and keep making improvements. When you get to a point that you think you are fine, keep going. That's when you're most in danger of becoming arrogant and lazy.

Do all of these things and you will be on your way to becoming a Christian Gentleman. These are points of spiritual significance. While you learn these things you will want to find lots of practical ways to make them happen. We'll talk more about that later.

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